Our Loved Ones in Spirit
When someone we love passes to Spirit World, there’s something inside us that changes forever. There’s pain that cannot be put into words, emotions that explode out of us, there’s confusion, there’s a numbing that happens for a while…and we go round the cycle quite a few times. And we wonder about our loved ones as well. Are they ok? Where are they? I can’t hear them/feel them/see them. Why did they have to go? The last question sadly doesn’t have much of an answer, but pondering the other questions and exploring our thoughts and beliefs about the afterlife can help a little bit on our grieving journey.
Where are they now?
There are lots of different theories and it’s hard to prove which is the “right answer.” Maybe all theories have some truth to them to some extent. In a previous blog, I talked about the language of the Universe, the Universe being the Source of everything, or God as some would say. When our physical bodies die, our consciousness lives on in a different plane of existence. I like to think of it as the space our mind goes to when we daydream, or when we fall asleep and we experience vivid dreams. It’s not somewhere that has a physical location, and it’s not a place where time is linear, it’s a whole different reality. But it’s not out of reach to those of us who are still breathing. We touch it in our dreams, in those quiet moments of mindfulness and meditation when we become aware that we are a part of something a whole lot bigger.
Who are they now?
I sometimes hear Mediums talk about a “male energy” or a “female energy” during their readings. I’m not a huge fan of these expressions, as people in Spirit are very much still people, so I like to treat them as such. Something I love in Mediumship readings is getting to know the person in the Spirit World. They often still have their quirky sense of humour, they still show their less than desirable habits like biting their nails or constantly fidgeting and tapping their pen on the desk. Because they are very much still themselves. Although they are a part of that Universal energy, they are still the unique wonderful person that we know and love. They are connected with all those that pass before and after them, should they choose to be, and they are very much still connected to us as well.
This brings me into the area of those who maybe weren’t the most wonderful people when they were physically alive. When they were here, some people were physically or verbally abusive to others, created issues with their family and friends, causing mental and physical pain to them. When they’re in the Spirit World, they are in pure contact with their own Soul, which they may not have been during their time in life, due to their own pain, their mental health issues, or simply the circumstances they found themselves in whilst living caused them to make bad choices. From my experience of working with people in Spirit who match this description, they give these impressions and memories as evidence alone, meaning they address them so the recipient in a reading will recognise them. In most cases, they want to acknowledge the damage they did, and they may even have an apology or they want to try and explain themselves in some way.
Why do I not feel them around me? Why are they not communicating?
There are a few reasons that this can happen. The main one is that we are still too deep in grief. Whilst a Mediumship reading can be very healing and reassuring that our loved ones are ok, hearing from them at a point where we are in the midst of grief can actually slow down the grieving process. Some people even develop a sort of addiction for readings, constantly coming back to hear from their loved one again and again in order to keep a connection with them. It happens outside of readings too, as we can find ourselves constantly looking for them, in such a way that it stops us moving forwards in our lives. We miss them, we would give anything to have them back in our lives, and we become dependent on the Spirit World for that connection. If this is the case, please understand that they are still with you, and willing you through your journey of grief. When the time is right they will most definitely make contact, either through dreams, being able to feel them and knowing they are there, or through a Medium.
A Personal Note From Me
I’d like to say at this point that the above is written from my own understandings as a working Medium, and my own journey of grief. I lost my Dad last year. You would think that being a Medium means you don’t grieve as much, but that is most definitely not the case. I asked all the above questions and more, and at times I even doubted my Mediumship…it was a time of huge uncertainty, frustration, anger, unspeakable sadness and a whole lot of other things. I still struggle at times. I still miss him, especially at Christmas and Birthdays. He lived quite far away, but he was always the first person to text me on those mornings, then he’d phone me later in the day to chat. It’s painful not to hear his voice down the phone anymore. Often when I’m feeling down, a funny memory of him will pop into my head. I’ll hear a song that I remember seeing him dance to. When I sit in the quiet to meditate, I can suddenly feel him around me. He’s still him. He’s still my Dad.
